Epicureanism - Pleasure is the goal

🧠 Epicureanism – Pleasure is the Goal

I see all the ancient philosophies as an all-you-can-eat buffet. If you were me at 10 years old, you’d go full golden retriever mode and take it as a challenge to eat everything… and then proceed to throw it all up. (Pretty sure I put Home Town Buffet out of business.) But the more mature approach is to peruse, maybe even sniff the aromas as you walk past the aisles of philosophy. A dollop of Stoicism, a helping or two of Skepticism, a garnish of Absurdism. The perfect plate probably looks unique for each of us, but there’s something good to be gleaned from them all.

Lately, I’ve been reading about Epicureanism. On the surface, it sounds like a lifestyle magazine—fine wine, charcuterie boards, your panther-poodle licking caviar off designer shoes. But Epicurus (341–270 BCE) wasn’t talking about that. He set up a school in Athens called The Garden where he taught that the purpose of life is simple: to live pleasantly by avoiding suffering.

Epicurean Cheat Sheet: 

• Pleasure isn’t hedonism. For Epicurus, true pleasure was the absence of pain and anxiety, not the constant chase for highs.

• Natural vs. unnecessary desires. Food, water, friendship? Worth pursuing. Endless flexing, clout chasing, legacy obsession? Just new forms of suffering.

• Don’t fear death. Death isn’t a problem, because when it comes, you won’t be around to feel it. So stop wasting life worrying about it.

• Friendship > everything. He put good friends above wealth or fame, because they bring lasting happiness.

You can live a life of pleasure not by stacking dopamine hits, but by reverse engineering your day to remove as much suffering as possible. Instead of forcing yourself into a “less is more” monk mode, you get to a similar outcome by trimming unnecessary pain.

But here’s my contention. If the goal is always peace, how do you not lose ambition? What about the good kind of pain… early alarms, brutal workouts, Montezuma’s revenge after a Mexican vacation, chasing goals that don’t always feel great in the moment?

Well… Turns out I’m not smarter than Epicurus cuz my man already anticipated this one… His philosophy wasn’t “avoid all pain,” it was “weigh the tradeoffs.” 

Some pain is worth it. A hard workout hurts now but pays off with gains later. 

Chasing a project may bring stress, but also fulfillment. 

Traveler’s diarrhea is sometimes worth the richness that travel brings to my life. 

His guidance was to run every choice through a kind of ancient cost-benefit filter: if the short-term suffering creates greater long-term pleasure, lean in. If not, let it go.

To my modern bros looking to adopt the ways of Epicure: 

Yes, let’s find pleasure as often as possible…  Not by dodging the discomfort, but by being smarter with which ones you pick. 

🍦 DOPAMINE

Diet Coke (& Other Artificially Sweetened Love Affairs)

In my head, I used to call this section of the newsletter the “Dopamine section.” But now that we’re all family in the Cinemagravy Garden, I’ll just call it what it is. A reward for taking the spoonful of educational medicine (reading me rant about whatever topic I’m obsessed with this week) and chasing it with a pint of your favorite ice cream.

Today’s hit of bliss: my go-to quips when confronted by anti–Diet Coke Karens.

My fondness for diet beverages started young. My mom always had them around. Being a chubby kid and a self-admitted mama’s boy, I followed in her footsteps and ordered the Diet Coke at restaurants, figuring I could stand to save a few calories.

Over the years I dabbled in full-sugar drinks, but they never hit the same. The bond hasn’t broken since. I’ve changed haircuts, apartments, and careers, but through every new era one truth has remained: my identity is Diet Coke.

Objection 1: “They’ve been proven to cause cancer.”

• Snarky: Yeah, and so does breathing. I live in LA. My time is limited.

• Snarkier: I’d rather be dead than fat.

• Science-ey: Those rat studies used doses equivalent to a human drinking literally thousands of cans a day. At normal consumption, there’s no evidence of harm.

Objection 2: “I’d rather have real sugar, it’s more natural.”

• Snarky: Yeah, and so is poison ivy but you don’t see me wiping my ass with it.

• Science-ey: “Natural” doesn’t mean “better.” Refined sugar spikes blood glucose, tanks energy, and is strongly linked to obesity. Aspartame? Cleared by the FDA, EFSA, WHO, and pretty much every food safety body on Earth.

Objection 3: “They actually cause you to gain weight.”

• Snarky: turns around and exits the conversation

• Science-ey: Multiple meta-analyses show the opposite. Artificially sweetened beverages are either neutral for weight or help people lose it, mostly by reducing overall calorie intake.

So yeah, me and Diet Coke are in it for life. The relationship may not be natural, but neither are 17” arms, and I am chasing both with equal commitment. 

📚 Things Worth Your Time

🥼 No White After Labor Day is Bullshit.
Did you know there isn’t even a consensus on where that rule came from? Some fashion historians say it started as an upper-class signal in the early 1900s, a way for old-money elites to separate themselves from the nouveau riche. Others think it was more practical, tied to the season when summer whites gave way to darker fall fabrics. Either way, it’s not gospel.

So wear white to your heart’s content, kings. I’ll be wearing linen like I’m a Colombian jefe until I’m in the grave (cartel-related obviously).

If you need a plug, ASOS is a great one-stop shop. I grab a lot of my fits from them. Prices are solid. Pro tip: buy enough to get the free shipping, order multiple sizes, then return what doesn’t fit.

📕 Trash fiction: Freda McFadden’s The Tenant.
I got a little bored reading non-stop non-fiction books. Only so much Socrates your boy can handle before I start showing up to the gym in a toga. So I went back to an author I kind of hate-read: Freda McFadden. The books are easy reads, the plots feel like déjà vu from one novel to the next, but she’s always good for a cheap twist. Plus, the endless anger I feel reading her trash prose keeps me turning the page until the bitter end. Sometimes you need a break from deep stimulation, and this hits the spot.

☕️Decaf coffee.
One of these days, I’ll share my full nighttime cocktail, but just know there’s a lot going on. I look forward to it every night: a warm beverage that signals instant sleep mode. The only time you’ll find me adulterating my coffee is with this drink. Heavy on the stevia, which sorts out the sweet tooth after dinner, and light enough to knock me right out. I save my snobbery for elsewhere - this is just freeze-dried decaf. I like this brand, but honestly, any grocery store version will do once you fortify it with all the goodies I throw in.

🔜 Coming Soon…

Out Now – The Millennial Man - (IG)
Raised by Chandler Bing and Tyler Durden. My content probably already drips with millennial angst, but this one seals it in Reel form. Over the last six months ✌️building Cinemagravy, I’ve noticed a following of kick-ass bros who get it. Being a man right now is confusing—no obvious rules, plenty of baggage. This piece starts to unpack it. More to come.

9/12 – The Millennial Man (Long Cut) -  (YouTube)
As always, these vids I make are therapy. Weeks of reflecting on what I actually think about things usually results in a clearer vision for what I want from myself in the future. This next one is a love letter to finding peace as a kid raised in the 90s. If you ever spent a frustrated morning trying to frost a toaster strudel, then plopped down in front of Rugrats reruns before school, this vid is for you.

9/14 -  Sit Like A Man - (IG)
This is my starter guide to who I am, deep in my soul. A young man with strongly held beliefs, to the point of guttural revulsion when someone betrays my vision of acceptable behavior. Yet also incredibly hypocritical, because if you asked me why I don’t follow my own rules, I’d shrug and say, “Well yeah, I don’t actually follow those guidelines.”

Expect a story about the weeks I spent copying a girl’s handwriting style, and why if you’re a guy, you should sit like you’ve got 70 pounds of armor to support.

✌ Until Next Time

I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes a good personal brand. To me, it’s someone with an opinion. Someone who isn’t afraid to ruffle feathers, say something unique, but do it in a way that feels genuinely honest to who they are. How am I doing in that regard? Slide into my DMs and let me know.