Patience & Ninja Creamis

I’ve never thought of myself as a patient person.
But I’ll wait 24 hours for a Ninja Creami to freeze—just to save a few hundred calories.

So maybe I am patient.
Just not with everything.
Turns out I’ll endure discomfort, as long as I believe the reward is worth it.

And lately, that’s got me asking: am I being patient with the right things?

This whole content creator thing… the low views, the quiet uploads, the invisible hours spent editing something maybe a dozen people will see.
Is this discipline? Or just a more aesthetic form of stalling?

I’m not sure yet.
But I do know this:

These Creamis are f*#*ing good.

I’ve made at least 10 so far—this one’s a tried-and-true slapper. 310 calories for the entire pint.

Does it taste like Ben & Jerry’s?
10 weeks into this cut and with the tastebuds of an autistic bodybuilder… I’d say even better.

🍦 Cookies & Creami (As Seen in Episode 21)
Calories: 310 for the full pint

Base:

• 1 Fairlife Vanilla Protein Shake

• 50g sweetener (I use Lakanto Monkfruit)

• 1 tsp salt

• ¼ tsp xanthan gum

• 1 tsp vanilla extract

Toppings:

• 4 Oreo Thins

Directions:

1. Mix all base ingredients and freeze for at least 12 hours.

2. Run warm water on the pint for 1 minute to soften the sides.

3. Spin on “Light Ice Cream” setting.

4. After first spin, scrape sides and create a small well. Add 2 Oreo Thins to the center.

5. Respin on “Mix-In.”

6. Top with the remaining Oreos. Bliss out.

🔜 Coming Up This Week...

7/13 – IG Reel
“The Most Controversial Shirt”
Probably my most controversial post to date. Nervous, but… vibes.

7/20 – IG Reel
“What Does Vintage Even Mean?”
Been filming the resurrection of a rusty, destroyed standing ashtray for a month. The footage finally clicked: this is my Sunday Gravy School breakdown on what “vintage” really means. Been loving the research rabbit holes so far.

7/23 – YouTube Video
“Wife Beaters: A Review”
This is my magnum opus. A month of buying, returning, and testing dozens of tanks from Amazon. Expect some bro-philosophy, cultural history, and questionable taste in undershirts.

PS: I’m working on an in-depth Favorite Beater Review PDF. OG newsletter subscribers (aka you) will get it for free—because every king deserves the perfect cotton armor. Should be ready by next week. 🙂

✌️ Until Next Time...

Thanks for being here early. Feels weird but also right.

– Michael
Cinemagravy