Quick Sand & Steak

🧠 Beware of Quick Sand

I was today years old when I found out quick sand isn’t real.
Not real real, at least. Not in the vine-grabbing, cheat-death-in-30-seconds kind of way I’ve been mentally rehearsing since I was six.

You’re telling me all those years I spent prepped to go full Indiana Jones... scan for the vine, distribute your weight, don’t panic... were in vain?

If you’re like me, raised on a steady diet of The Wild Thornberrys, Saturday cartoons, and jungle-based death traps, this realization is less “fun fact” and more ego death.
Here’s what really messes with me:

Even if quick sand were real…
I had no plan.
I never looked it up.
Never asked a science teacher.
Never tested it in the backyard with a garden hose and a bucket.

I just carried the fear.

And if I had prepared? I would’ve realized the threat didn’t exist.
No more subconscious tension. No more fantasy anxiety.
Just… peace.
The act of investigating would’ve killed the fear before it metastasized.

That’s the lesson. 

Yes, look out for quick sand. If it’s literal.
But also: beware of the fake fears culture hands you.
Because in the modern world, there are plenty of obstacles, but very few of them are life or death.
Most are just vibes.
And vibes aren’t real.

So the next time you feel that ancient tingle of dread?
Pause.
Ask: is this fear real?
Or is it just another vine that doesn’t exist?

🐍 Some of My Modern Quicksands

• Higher Education.
  I stressed over AP classes, GPA, and college essays like they were my ticket to salvation. No one stopped to ask if the ticket was even going to the right destination. The price tag was spiritual and financial. For me, college was a bust. Not because learning is bad, but because the value equation was never interrogated.

• Morning Routines.
  Somewhere along the line, not journaling before sunrise became a moral failing. With much deliberation over a $300 wake-up light in my Amazon cart and two meditation apps later, I realized I’m just more productive if I skip the fluff, down the coffee, and get to work as soon as possible.

• Buying a House.
  The American dream told me this was the ultimate milestone. Economies change, and sometimes the stress of choosing the right tile for your kitchen backsplash isn’t the best use of your time. Owning can be good, but the pressure to do it by 30 is entirely manufactured.

• The “Dream Job.”
  I spent a decade chasing the idea of my career as identity. Turns out, loving what you do doesn’t mean you love doing it 80 hours a week. And just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you have to monetize it.

• Skincare Panic.
  Bro-coded: if you didn’t have a 14-step anti-aging routine by 25, you might as well start saving for filler. My pores are fine, thanks. SPF (sometimes), sleep (I try), and vibes (always).
  That said, expect the launch of Cinemagravy Skincare Routine 1.0 cuz I’m a huge hypocrite lol.

🥩 Dopamine

The Perfect Steak (for Lazy Bros with Standards)

If you’re like me, you rank the quality of your year by the quality of your Amazon purchases.
And 2022? That was the year of the infrared grill.

Before that, searing steak felt like a time-taxed ritual.
Option A: Light the chimney, wait 30 minutes, hope the wind behaves.
Option B: Fire up the propane grill, pray the "sear burner" doesn't ghost you mid-session.

Neither got hot enough.
Neither felt like something I could build a lifestyle around.

Then came the infrared. And now?
I’m 10 minutes from fridge to plate - steak nestled beside my emotional support salad and a savings-account-draining pond of Truff hot sauce.

Like most of my meals, this one was born from necessity.
It checks all three boxes on my culinary hierarchy of needs:

1. Adherence – macro-friendly (protein-packed, minimal guesswork)

2. Efficiency – I’m lazy, this lets me be

3. Yumminess – the most important metric of all

Rituals, Iterations, and Gravy Lore

As I continue documenting my routines like I’m prepping for a full Michael recreation in the cloud, I’m reminded that most rituals go through so many iterations the original logic gets buried under a pile of “eh, it stuck.”

Ask me in person how to make the best steak? You’ll get the classic bro response:
Salt. Lots of heat. Done.

But watch me in my daily steak dance? You’ll spot a few extra moves.
Why the double standard?

Let me explain.

Rosemary.
About 10 years ago, the health world decided charred meat was a carcinogen (spoiler: everything is, if you wait long enough).
The solution? Antioxidants.
My half-assed answer? Toss some rosemary on top.
Does it prevent cancer? Who knows.
But the flavor’s fire and the herb never left.

Trader Joe’s Mushroom Umami Seasoning.
I don’t remember when or why this ended up on my steak.
But it did. And it stayed.
It’s crust-enhancing, adds a little earthy complexity, and is one of the only reasons I brave that lawless parking lot.

The rest is self-explanatory.

Is it the perfect steak?
For me, yeah.
I haven’t changed a single thing in 3 years.
At 5 times a week, that’s over 780 attempts.
And every time I ask myself, how could I improve this?
The answer is always: I’m good.

THE RECIPE: Cinemagravy Nightly Steak

(A love letter to repetition, ritual, and just enough rosemary)

Yes, my cholesterol is pretty decent.
Hasn’t always been. I once did a 6-month stint on the carnivore diet; sky-high numbers, (another story for another Monday).
Whether or not cholesterol should dictate your nutritional choices is up for debate, but I hedge my bets. These days I go lean and save the ribeyes for special occasions.

Gravy Pro Tip:
I buy the prepacked filets. Most grocery stores carry them.
I’m a bougie bitch with very few things in life - this is one of them.
I usually go grass-fed (grain-fed tastes better, fight me), but the grass-fed packs are way leaner and require little to no trimming. Less waste, better macros.

🧂 Ingredients:

• 16–20 oz filet mignon or sirloin

• Trader Joe’s Mushroom Umami Seasoning

• Crushed rosemary

• Kosher salt

🔥 The Method:

Take your steak straight from the fridge.
No room-temp nonsense. No dry-brining. Just cold beef and confidence.

Season generously with rosemary, umami seasoning, and salt.
This is not a time to be shy.
The rosemary’s doing legacy work. The umami’s adding a crust that’ll make you question why TJ’s doesn’t charge more. Salt is salt. Be liberal.

Now here’s the twist most grill nerds won’t tell you:

No preheat.

I place the seasoned steaks on the top rack of my infrared grill before ignition.
Then I fire it up and walk away to prep the rest of dinner.
No timers. No stress. Trust the process.

For reference, this grill hits 1500º at peak rage.
I drop my 1" thick filets directly on the top rack - the closest you can get to the flame.

3 minutes max per side.

You’ll get that crispy, aggressive crust without overcooking.
Med-rare is the correct answer.

Once the crust is right, kill the flame, twist off the propane, and walk back inside like a man who just did something sacred.

📚 Things Worth Your Time

📺 The Pitt (HBO)
Erica and I average approximately 1.2 hours of television a week, strictly as a soundtrack to Creami consumption.
Our current pick is The Pitt. And honestly, it decidedly doesn’t suck.
Feels like a classic old-school network episodic with an HBO budget.
Expect another recommendation in approximately four months when we finally finish this season.

😎 Vibing Out a Workout
I’ve tracked and logged every workout of mine for the past year. And for the most part, every workout over the past 12 years - minus a few here and theres.
Absolutely necessary for optimal progress if you ask me.
But I retired the RP Hypertrophy app a couple weeks ago and I’m keeping it shelved for the rest of the month.
I’d normally criticize going into the gym without a plan, but I’m a psychopath and somehow training harder and more frequently than ever.
Most importantly, I’m really enjoying it. Intuitive training has something to teach me and I’m taking notes for when I get back on the logging train.

🤔 Is It Worth My Time?

💾 Compressed Air Compressor (for cleaning tech)
I write this on a cigar ash covered laptop and contemplate a purchase.
My Amazon trigger finger is itchy but I’m stalling. Trying to outsource a little hygienic courage from my tech buds out there.
This one is well reviewed and I want to assemble an affordable but effective kit to clean up this thing that has become my life.
If you’ve got a favorite tool in your setup, send it my way. Trying not to fully destroy my keyboard before the next reel drop.

🔜 Coming Soon

Out Now: Sunday Gravy School – So You’re Cringe, What’s Next? (IG)
A gentle love letter to my childhood self and Billy Joel.
Appreciate the feedback on this one. Love hearing your stories.
Big takeaway: sometimes the criticism from others is a leading indicator you're on the right path.

10/8 – Gravy Code: You’re Doing Cologne Wrong (IG)
I have exactly one opinion when it comes to scent.
Do not spray it on your clothes, brothers.
Why? Because as much as I love you, as much as I love to normalize male-on-male hug action, I don’t want to smell like you the rest of the day after our coffee date.

10/10 – Gravy Code: The Perfect Steak (IG)
Still scripting this one.
But my steak ritual deserves some form of digital immortality.
Also your boy is trying to get a free cow sent to his PO box.

✌️Until Next Time

What’s your modern day quicksand?
DM me and we’ll play therapy together.