The Constipated Stoic

This week I’ve been in a gloomy mood.

In the past, I’ve thought of my mood like I think about the weather.
Los Angeles doesn’t get many “bad” days. Rain is rare, and no matter the temperature, I still get on with my day.
If it looks painfully cold or hot, maybe I’ll change my outfit.
Nine times out of ten, it’s still a beater anyway.
Stoic meteorology, if you will.

“It is not the things themselves that disturb us, but our judgments about them.”
- Epictetus, Discourses

🧠 What Stoicism Actually Is
Stoicism is an ancient philosophy built around one simple idea: control what you can, accept what you can’t.
It teaches that peace comes not from the world behaving, but from your ability to respond well when it doesn’t.
Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius all said versions of the same thing

Today’s piece isn’t about Stoicism itself, though. That deserves its own Monday Gravy deep dive for the “Philosophy for the Modern Bro” series.

Coming off of my vid from yesterday, today I want to focus on what Stoicism gets wrong. 

You hear “control what you can” and start thinking, “Cool, I’ll just control my feelings by not having them.”

Which brings me to laxatives. 

I grew up thinking laxatives were sketchy. Half black magic, half street drug. Something that could ruin your digestive system forever.

Turns out, that’s not quite true. They’re just tools. Used correctly, they help the body move when things get… stuck. Used excessively, they can make you dependent.

And that’s how a lot of men use philosophy.

A constipated man using Stoicism as a laxative.
Clogged with unprocessed emotion, cherry-picking quotes until they harden into armor.

But moods, especially the bad ones, are data.
They’re messages from your mind about what’s missing.
If you numb that feedback loop, you lose the guidance.

“No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is not permitted to prove himself.”
- Seneca

I’m still figuring out what’s going on with my bad mood this week.
Routine is dialed in. Productivity through the roof.
I’ve woven a steel mesh cage to hold my day together.
Within this brutalist structure, doubt seeps through.

This week, my bad mood led me toward an unexpected teacher: skepticism.

Not the pessimistic kind that says “everything sucks.”
The philosophical kind that says “maybe I should question what I think I know.”

There’s power in doubt.

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.”
- Francis Bacon Novum Organum

But man, I’m the king of doubt, and it’s seriously blurred my vision toward progress in the past.

I’ve got a deep desire to use doubt as an excuse to lean into perfectionism.

So what makes this different from skepticism?

From the kind of doubt practiced by the philosophers who sat beside the Stoics, wrestling with the same big existential questions?

Perfectionist doubt paralyzes you. It’s fear with a Bachelor’s degree.
Philosophical doubt pushes you forward. It’s curiosity with a flashlight.

Where perfectionist doubt demands certainty before action, philosophical doubt accepts uncertainty as the starting point.

One says, “I can’t act until I’m sure.”
The other says, “I’ll act and let experience sort it out.”

Lately I’ve been trying to live more like the second one.
To use doubt as a tool instead of a wall.
To treat gloomy moods as hints instead of warnings.

The skeptics weren’t frozen by their questions. They were freed by them.

Instead of clinging to the right answer, they stayed open to better ones.

That’s what I’m learning to practice.
Not running from doubt, but using it as a compass for clarity.

🧭 How to Use Doubt as a Superpower

1. Name the feeling, don’t bury it.
When you’re in a bad mood, stop for a second and call it what it is. Frustration, boredom, restlessness, whatever. Naming it turns fog into form.

2. Ask what it’s pointing to.
Most moods are little messages. Frustration might mean something’s out of line. Boredom might mean you’ve stopped challenging yourself. Each feeling is basically your brain leaving you a sticky note.

3. Tell the difference between freezing and exploring.
If your doubt keeps you stuck, that’s perfectionism talking.
If it makes you curious, that’s growth.

4. Try the “what if I’m wrong” game.
Once a day, pick something you’re sure about, your job, your goals, your gym routine, and ask, “What if the opposite was true?”
That tiny question can open up a whole new way to see things.

5. Let reality decide.
Do the thing. See what happens. Adjust from there. Philosophical Doubt only works if it gets you moving again.

🍲 Dopamine

Legacy Meal #4: Pumpkin Chili

A modern man is plagued with a conundrum.
Burdened by a desire for meaning in a world that asks less and less of him, and divided by the great question of our time: do beans belong in chili?
Or maybe that’s just me.

Like all legacy meals, this one was born from a collision of traits: yumminess, macro friendliness, and laziness, all filtered through the brain of a kid who watched Food Network instead of cartoons.

I’ve cooked this at least thirty times, sometimes large format for friends, other times scaled down for a solo meal. I’ve stripped away every unnecessary step. Chili purists will debate ingredients like they’re delivering a Sunday sermon, but I’ve boiled this down to the essentials.

It’s cheap, done in 30 minutes, and it’ll impress your non–macro-counting friends as much as it satisfies your calorie tracker. And beans are nice, but they don’t belong in chili. 🙂 

Makes 4 servings

Ingredients

• 2 lbs 93/7 ground beef

• 1 large yellow onion, diced

• 3 medium bell peppers (mix of green and red), diced

• 40 g good chili powder*

• 1 (15 oz) can pumpkin purée

• 1 (28 oz) can crushed tomatoes

• 1 (15 oz) can fire roasted crushed tomatoes

• 2 tbsp tomato paste

• ½ cup water

• 4 cloves garlic, minced

Optional Toppings
Greek yogurt, green onion, diced red onion, shredded cheese, chopped Roma tomato, diced cilantro, hot sauce of choice

Directions
Here’s where it gets pure nutty genius. Throw everything into the biggest pot you own, all at once. Use a wooden spoon or potato masher to break up the ground beef and mix it in. Bring it to a boil, then let it simmer with the lid on. Stir occasionally.

It’s ready in 30 minutes, but the longer it sits, the better it gets. I like to wait until every room in the house smells like lazy man comfort food, usually about 2 to 3 hours.

Divide into bowls, lay out the toppings, and let everyone build their own masterpiece. Serve with cornbread, always a crowd pleaser. (bonus points if you outsourced it). 

*Use a quality chili powder here. A proper chili uses a blend of dried chilis that are rehydrated and strained, which is a serious labor of love. Save yourself some time and use the ground version. Most pre-made chili powders already include cumin, garlic powder, and other spices, so you get more flavor with fewer spice containers. The longer the chili cooks, the more time that powder has to bloom and release all its goodness.

If you’re into making things tougher for yourself but want to add about five percent more complexity, find a good pure New Mexican chili powder and make your own blend with the additional spices. You’ll have more control over the ratios and can really earn that “kiss the chef” apron you’d never catch me dead wearing.

📚 Things Worth Your Time

👨‍💻 Using ChatGPT as a daily tutor
I know very little. I’d like to know more.

After school, it became tough to keep learning when it wasn’t part of a curriculum. Lately, I’ve been using ChatGPT’s automation system to quiz me daily. It started with a simple prompt:

“Hey, every morning quiz me for ten minutes on philosophy. Make me a PhD-level expert. Quiz me each day on what we learned the day before.”

The new ChatGPT update actually lets you automate this in the background. You can set it to ping you every morning like a mini class.

Now, when I wake up, I get a little knowledge before coffee. Use it however you want. Philosophy, cooking, finance, whatever you wish you learned more about.

 🤓 My Newest YouTube crush
Jonathan Bi. A handsome Asian dude serving up everything I want to know.

His videos break down philosophy, culture, and selfhood in a way that somehow feels both ancient and modern. Makes me wish I skipped the film degree and went full philosopher.

Lucky for me, now I get both.

Start with his video on Nietzsche if you want your definition of master and slave permanently rewired.

📕 Top 10 book rec - Ready Player One Clint Kline
I’m working on my long list of favorite books. Not sure if it’ll be a top ten or a top hundred. There’s a lot of questionable Goodreads reviews of mine to sort through.

But here’s one that’s been on my mind lately, especially while crafting the Cinemagravy treasure hunts. Ready Player One oozes nostalgia and reminds me how easy it would be to get this whole AI revolution wrong.

It’s a fun read that hits harder the older you get.

🔜 Coming Soon

Out Now – Sunday Gravy School: The Constipated Stoic (IG)
The Stoics had it right, we just interpreted it wrong.
The modern man uses Stoicism as a shield. A comfort blanket that doubles as a cloak for emotion. Expect me on the toilet for at least fifteen seconds on this one.

10/23 – Watches 101 (IG)
For the first time in Cinemagravy history, I’ll be revealing my watch collection and talking about some surprisingly cool things I’ve learned about automatic watches.

10/26 – Your Birthday Ruined You (IG)
Had a conversation with Erica a while ago about how she’s kinda terrible at asking for what she wants. She’s working on it. Early in our relationship, we made a tradition of choosing a birthday spot with zero debate. No compromises. If it’s a hell yes for her, it’s a hell yes for me. Ruthless selflessness can be a superpower when it’s used with intention. My guess is most of us had that skill broken early in childhood.

✌ Until Next Time

Bad moods are like chili.
Often overcomplicated and wrapped up in lore, easily individualized, and if ignored too long, they’ll leave you with a big mess.

DMs always open.